Note: You can download this resource in <a href="/resources/Maximizing%20Stewardship%20%7C%20Before%20Tying%20the%20Knot.pdf" target="_blank">printable PDF format</a>.

Different family backgrounds and expectations can create conflict around money. 
 
The discussion is divided into three parts:
What are you bringing into the marriage?
How do you plan to manage money in marriage?
What are your future plans? 
 
#### What are you bringing into the marriage? Luke 16:11

1. What memories do you have of your parents handling money?

2. Describe the temperament or personality of your future spouse and how this influences their money
habits.

3. Have you seen your partner’s credit score? <a href="https://www.creditkarma.com" target="_blank">CreditKarma.com</a> (or any other free resource). What makes up this score?

4. Do you have savings? How much? What are you saving for?

5. When you look at each other’s bank and credit card statements, how do you see Christ living in them?

6. Are you living on a written spending plan now? Share it.

7. Examine each other’s credit report before the wedding: <a href="https://www.annualcreditreport.com" target="_blank">www.annualcreditreport.com</a>

8. What debts are you bringing into the marriage and what should be repaid first, second, and so on?

9. Do you have debt from college? How much? What is your plan for repayment?

10. Do you have an auto loan or is your vehicle paid off? How often do you hope to replace vehicles?

11. Do you owe the IRS money? Do you owe money to your parents? Do you have any other loans?

12. If previously married, what monthly obligations need to be budgeted for?
 
#### What’s your plan to manage money in marriage? 1 Corinthians 4:2

1. Once married, who will keep track of the checkbook, log expenses on the spending plan and monitor
progress towards goals? Usually one spouse does this, not both. What is your opinion of having only one
checking account?

2. How often will you review financial goals together? Have you thought about a monthly “money date”
to review what came in and went out? What about a half-day retreat for an annual report?

3. Would you consider meeting with an older mentor couple to hold you accountable with your finances
in the first year of marriage? Who would you choose? How often would you meet with them?

4. Please answer separately: how do you feel about giving God the first and best of your increase, or
tithing from your income? Do you have a percentage figure in mind? If you don’t agree, how will you
come to agreement before marriage?

5. What is your opinion on saving for purchases instead of borrowing money? What influenced your
opinion?

6. How do you feel about using credit cards regularly? Do you feel it’s OK to keep a running balance that
never gets paid in full? Why or why not?

7. How much should be in emergency savings? What really constitutes an emergency?

8. When money is tight, what is your plan for vacations?
 
#### What are your future plans together for money? Proverbs 21:5

1. Fast forward for a moment: What does a fulfilled life look like to you? What will you want to have done
for 40 or 50 years that will have been worth it? What are the financial implications of your dream?

2. What lifestyle do you believe God has called you to? What are your long-term financial goals? Write
out your goals now. Then compare them and come to an agreement on mutual goals.

3. Where do you want to live - a house in the suburbs or an uptown loft? What is the plan to pay for it?
Are you aware that housing (everything, not just the mortgage payment) should be no more than about
35% of take-home pay after taxes and withholding?

4. Do you want kids? How many? Do you both expect to keep working or will one of you stay home to
raise children when they come? Will the primary breadwinner be able to support the family on one income to make this happen? Have you talked about how much you want to save for their college expenses?

5. Have you discussed the need for life insurance when kids come? Will you have enough insurance
proceeds to fully replace income of the primary wage earner? For how long?

6. Have you talked about saving enough over a lifetime to not depend on others when you can’t work
for health reasons? How much will you need when you are “old”? What does your plan look like to reach
this goal? Why would you want to be completely debt-free in retirement? How much do you plan to
withdraw each year, so the money doesn’t run out? Talking to your parents and grandparents, how
much do they wish they had saved?

7. How will you regularly share your financial account information with each other so you both know
how much you have and where it is located? Should something happen to your spouse, you will have an
immediate need to know. What about account passwords?

8. What do you think about discussing major purchases BEFORE you buy something? What constitutes a major purchase? Will it require unanimous agreement? When you don’t agree, what is your plan?
 
#### Suggested Resources:
- <a href="https://www.ramseysolutions.com/relationships/newlyweds-what-do-we-need-to-know-about-money" target="_blank">Dave Ramsey - How to Combine Finances as Newlyweds</a>
- <a href="https://compassfinancialministry.org/product/money-marriage-video-series-facilitator-guide" target="_blank">Compass - Money and Marriage God's Way, Small Group Study</a>
- _Money & Marriage: A Complete Guide for Engaged and Newly Married Couples_, book by Matt Bell
- _Money Before Marriage: A Financial Workbook for Engaged Couples_, book by Larry Burkett
 
Special thanks to James Allen, teacher of finances to engaged couples and the Marriage and Family Ministry of Gateway Church; Bruce & Margret Edstrom, Director of Dallas Center for Biblical Counseling;
Matt Bell, creator of <a href="https://mattaboutmoney.com" target="_blank">MattAboutMoney.com</a> and author of Money & Marriage; Howard Dayton, Founder of Compass – Finances God’s Way and co-founder of Crown Financial Ministries; Pastor David Thompson from Gateway Church, who encouraged the writing of this guide.

<div style="text-align:center; margin-top:12px">
Brad Jack is the Executive Director for Maximizing Stewardship 
Copyright © 2022 Brad Jack 
Maximizing Stewardship 
All Rights Reserved
</div>

Questions to coach couples in pre-marital counseling on discussing their views on money.

Talk About Money Before Tying the Knot

[Redirect to Estate Planning page](/estate-planning)

Materials for a four-part estate planning course that covers multiple topics such as wills, probate, trusts, life insurance, and inheritances.

Estate Planning Teaching Resources

## Kids & Students
<table>
<tbody>
<tr>
 <th>Children’s Generosity Poems</th>
 <td><a href="https://www.kluth.org/childrens.pdf" target="_blank">Dr. Brian Kluth</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Raising Financially Freed-Up Kids</th>
 <td>Good Sense Movement</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>The ABC’s of Handling Money (ages 5-7)</th>
 <td>Compass Financial Ministry</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>The Secret of Handling Money (ages 8-12)</th>
 <td>Compass Financial Ministry</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Equip Generous Stewards (high school 11th & 12th graders)</th>
 <td>Ron Blue Institute</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Discovering God’s Way of Handling Money Teen Study</th>
 <td>Crown Financial Ministries</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Faith and Finances for Kids</th>
 <td><a href="https://faithandfinancesforkids.com" target="_blank">FaithandFinancesforKids.com</a></td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>

## Young Adults
<table>
<tbody>
<tr>
 <th>Freed-Up Financial Living</th>
 <td>Good Sense</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Building Your Finances God’s Way</th>
 <td>Compass Financial Ministry</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Financial Peace University</th>
 <td>Ramsey Solutions</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Multiply (Investing)</th>
 <td>Sound Mind Investing</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Do Well</th>
 <td>Crown Financial Ministries</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Money Life</th>
 <td>Crown Financial Ministries</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Money, Purpose, Joy</th>
 <td>Matt Bell</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Faith-Finances</th>
 <td>Patrick Blair</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>

## Middle-Age
<table>
<tbody>
<tr>
 <th>Money and Marriage</th>
 <td>Compass Financial Ministry</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Building Your Finances God’s Way</th>
 <td>Compass Financial Ministry</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Money, Purpose, Joy</th>
 <td><a href="https://mattaboutmoney.com" target="_blank">mattaboutmoney.com</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Financial Peace University</th>
 <td>Ramsey Solutions</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Steward’s Way Discipleship Series</th>
 <td>Stewardship Library, Taylor Univ.</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>

## Senior Adults
<table>
<tbody>
<tr>
 <th>Set Your House in Order</th>
 <td>Compass Financial Ministry</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>God Owns It All</th>
 <td>Ronald Blue</td>
</tr>
<tr>
 <th>Charting Your Legacy</th>
 <td>Compass Financial Ministry</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>


[Descriptions for these curriculum can be found here.](/resources/curriculum-for-groups-and-classes)

A list of stewardship resources organized by kids & students, young adults, middle age, and senior adults.

Stewardship Resources by Life Stage and Interest

### Download the Printable PDF
Note: You can download this resource in <a href="/resources/Maximizing%20Stewardship%20%7C%20Loss%20of%20a%20Loved%20One.pdf" target="_blank">printable PDF format</a>.
 

The steps on this checklist may or may not address your particular situation based on where you live. Please consult a board-certified probate and estate planning attorney at your earliest convenience. We also recommend you consult with a trusted financial professional. If you do not have a financial professional, find an advisor at <a href="https://www.kingdomadvisors.com/" target="_blank">Kingdom Advisors</a>

<h4>This guide has three steps:</h4>
1. Immediate Actions
2. Actions after Death Certificates arrive
3. Actions over time (4-6 weeks after passing)

## Step 1: Immediate Actions - Ask a trusted friend to help with these steps

- Who is a trusted and knowledgeable friend or advisor to help think through these following issues?

- Who (family & friends) needs to be involved in the immediate decision
process?

- Do not let family members drive a car that belonged to the decedent. Should an accident happen, the estate might possibly be sued.

- Homeowners Insurance: make sure the insurance company knows of death as soon as possible.

- If you may have trouble paying funeral expenses, notify life insurance immediately. Funeral homes will often coordinate with life insurance.

- If a military veteran, determine if death benefits or funeral in national cemetery with honors are available (possibly for both the veteran and their spouse). <a href="http://www.va.gov/" target="_blank">U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs</a>

- Ask your employer if you have a bereavement leave benefit.

- Check the status of your health insurance if your family was covered by your spouse’s employer. Find out what changes need to be made to insure your family’s continuing health insurance. Keep an open file within easy reach for medical expenses associated with your loved one that are yet to be paid.iii

- Ask a trusted friend or family member to help sort through appointments and upcoming trips that may need to be cancelled.

- Locate your spouse’s cell phone. You may want to preserve their voicemail messages in another form, should the phone be misplaced or service ends.

- Save all bills from the mail.

- Locate your spouse's list of user names and passwords.

- Create a list of bills that are paid automatically (autopay).

- Bank accounts: If accounts are joint, keep using the account as your own. Do not immediately begin closing accounts. You may need the decedent's name on the account to conduct estate business.

- Credit Cards: You cannot use a credit card that is not in your name. Stop using plastic in your late spouse’ name. When you receive credit card bills only in the name of your late spouse and do not have the means to pay, you will want to advise the lender of the death and wait for the estate probate process, which may be months away. If the account was jointly in your name, you can continue to use it and pay the bill by the due date each month.

- Safe Deposit Box: You may access it only if your name is on the rental agreement. If not, you may need to work with the bank to obtain the last will and testament if in the box.

## Step 2: Actions After Death Certificates Arrive

- Investment accounts (401k, 403b, IRA’s and Roth IRA’s): We highly recommend consulting with a financial professional. Options for transferring these will vary based on your situation. It is crucial to make the correct decision. Once you know and understand the best solution for each account, submit a death certificate to each institution.

- Life insurance: Submit a certified death certificate for each policy.

- Pensions and retirement accounts: Again, it is crucial to make the correct decision, so you should consult with an objective adviser. Prior to applying for benefits, consult with a financial professional.

- Social Security Benefits: Like 401K’s and IRA’s, it is crucial to make the correct decision. You should consult
with an objective financial adviser prior to contacting social security for benefits. <a href="https://www.ssa.gov">(www.ssa.gov)</a> 1-800-772-1213

- Health Insurance: Notify Medicare and other health insurance companies that you will no longer pay your spouse’s premiums.

- Utility Bills: Check these to be sure they are in both your names. Be aware that sometimes when the name on an account changes, service may be shut down and then restarted in order to change the account name.

- Banks: Make changes to joint accounts, placing them in your name when advised by your attorney or CPA.

- Memberships: Cancel any recurring membership fees and automatic bank drafts or magazine subscriptions that apply only to your spouse and adjust any that applied to you both.iii

- Emergency Contacts: Change as necessary.

## Step 3: Actions Over Time (4 to 6 weeks after passing)

- Accounts 
Make a complete list of your spouse’s credit cards, debit cards, phone cards (check their wallet), business expense accounts and any other open accounts. Ask each card company if there is a death benefit.

- Important Documents 
Find birth and marriage certificates, military discharge papers, car titles, legal documents such as wills, trusts and estate documents and keep them in a safe place, ready for your attorney when the appointment comes.
<div style="background-color:#F0F2EF; padding: 8px 20px; text-align:center; width:90%; margin:auto; margin-top:10px">
If you are having trouble getting through the details of retitling accounts, a financial planner can help. Contact <a href="https://www.kingdomadvisors.com/" target="_blank">Kingdom Advisors</a> (404-497-7680) or the <a href="https://www.napfa.org/" target="_blank">National Association of Personal Financial Advisors</a> (847-483-5400).iv
</div> 
- Know your expenses and income 
Stay current with mortgage or rent, utilities, your car loan payments, property tax and insurance premiums. Make a list of your income sources: Social Security, pension payments, dividends, interest, job earnings and IRA distributions. Write down your fixed expenses such as groceries, mortgage payments, utilities and insurance. Are there automatic charges on your credit card? Look at checking account records for reoccurring payments. Do not throw away unpaid bills. Bottom line: What are your ongoing living expenses and what income is there to cover these?
 
If your spouse kept the finances, do you understand their organization system? Make it easy for yourself. Try using colored folders with headings such as banking, home bills, credit cards, investments, insurance and estate documents.

- Savings 
Plan to not make any significant decisions that change the course of your investment strategy for two years, allowing time to come out of the “brain fog” of the change in your life situation. If you have the ability, set aside cash in a separate account to cover 3 months of living expenses.

- Health Insurance 
If you were receiving health coverage under your spouse's employer plan, you may be able to continue on the group plan for 36 months through COBRA coverage. (An employer with fewer than 20 employees is not required to provide COBRA coverage.) Ask the plan administrator if the company will continue picking up the employer's premium subsidy.

- Life Insurance 
If you can't find life insurance policies and you don't have an insurance agent, scan checking account transactions and bank statements for payments to insurance companies over the preceding 12 months. Check auto loans and mortgages for a death benefit. Your spouse may have had a group life insurance policy through a professional or fraternal organization. For a fee, <a href="https://www.mib.com/pls.html" target="_blank">MIB Solutions' Policy Locator Service</a> might help you find a lost life insurance application.
<div style="background-color:#F0F2EF; padding: 8px 20px; text-align:left; width:90%; margin:auto; margin-top:10px">
Note: You will normally have choices regarding how you will receive the money. Read the fine print carefully. In some cases, an insurance company will place your funds into its own money-market funds and send book of checks. Turn down this
option, and place the money in a federally insured bank account or a money-market fund. Money in a federally-insured bank account is insured up to $250,000 per account. If you're considering guaranteed monthly payments for life, seek the advice of your lawyer or financial adviser.
</div> 

- Estate and Probate 
Until you meet with your estate lawyer, hold off on placing your spouse's assets in your own name. If you touch assets in your spouse's name, you'll lose any opportunity to "disclaim" the property -- that is, allowing those assets to go directly to your children or other heirs. If you forgo these assets, they will not count against your federal or state estate-tax exemption when you die. Assuming you had named your spouse to make financial and health-care decisions on your behalf in the event you became incapacitated, you will need to designate a new “agent” for your financial power of attorney, health-care power of attorney and health-care directive. Organize bills related to funeral/burial/cremation expenses. Ask your estate attorney about returning vehicles or boats to the lender that were only in the name of your spouse.

- Taxes 
The amount of time from the date of death until a final federal income tax return varies based on the situation. <a href="https://www.irs.gov/forms-pubs/about-publication-559" target="_blank">(Please see IRS Pub. 559)</a>

- If your spouse was still working at the time of death 
Was there any unpaid salary or bonuses, accrued vacation and sick pay, leftover funds in a medical flexible spending account or stock options?v

- Annuities 
Re-check with companies holding annuities and apply for benefits. Assuming your spouse was retired and you were both receiving monthly pension benefits in the form of a joint and survivor annuity, notify the plan administrator immediately. Depending on the type of annuity you chose, you could be due 50%, 75% or 100% of what both of you were receiving before your spouse died. If your plan only pays 50% after the loss of your spouse and the plan keeps paying 100%, they will expect you to return the overpayment.vi

- Cars, trucks, boats & RV’s 
Notify motor vehicle department and change titles to include boats, RV’s that were owned free and clear.

- Other investments not in a retirement account 
Notify stock brokerage houses and investment companies.

- Memberships 
Cancel and close fraternal groups, clubs or other memberships.

- Medical 
Finalize hospital, doctor and nursing home bills. Contact <a href="https://www.medicare.gov/" target="_blank">Medicare</a> for final medical bills if the person was over age 65.

- Unclaimed property or money 
Check online for unclaimed money for the deceased from insurance companies, banks, utilities, stocks, etc. at <a href="https://www.missingmoney.com/" target="_blank">www.missingmoney.com</a>

- Notify credit reporting agencies 
<a href="https://www.experian.com/" target="_blank">Experian</a>, <a href="https://www.transunion.com/" target="_blank">TransUnion</a> & <a href="https://www.equifax.com/" target="_blank">Equifax</a>. Use Certified mail. Keep copies of everything sent. Include the following information: Name & Social Security number of deceased, last 5 years of addresses, date of birth & date of death. Request of copy of their credit report. Ask the report to be flagged with the following: “Deceased. Do not issue credit.” Provide contact information for next surviving relative or executor, and request notification, should a new credit account be filed. Once report received, check: Are there any accounts to be closed or amounts still owed?

<div style="text-align:center; width:90%; margin-top:16px">
_Special thanks to J. Geary Grimes, Sharon Epps and Lisa G. Hay for their expertise in assisting with this guide!_

_Brad Jack is the Executive Director for Maximizing Stewardship._


Copyright © 2022 Brad Jack 
Maximizing Stewardship

</div>


<hr style="margin-top:6em; margin-bottom:6px" />
<cite style="font-size:12px">
i https://thelizlogelinfoundation.org/resources/newly-widowed-checklist - Page no longer found. 12 May 2024
 
ii https://hr.fresnounified.org/wp-content/uploads/Helpful-Tips-for-Surviving-Spouse.pdf
 
iii https://afesupport.org/helpful-steps-to-follow-after-the-loss-of-a-spouse-to-afe/ - Page no longer found. 15 June 2022
 
ivhttp://www.novanthealtheap.org/home/life/grief--loss/to-do-list-for-surviving-spouse.aspx - Accessed 15 June 2022
 
vhttp://lakelandbank.com/About-Us/Lakeland-Bank-Blog/February-2013/10-Financial-Tips-for-Widows-and-Widowers.aspx - Page no longer found. 15 June 2022
 
vi http://rainbowlaw.com/blawg/ - Page no longer found. 15 June 2022
</cite>

A helpful checklist of actions to take regarding the finances of a loved one recently deceased. The guide has three parts: immediate actions, actions after the death certificate arrives, and actions 4-6 weeks after passing.

Tag: family life

Resources